- WHATEVER(:

Updating....

I dunno how to describe my feeling now....

More of upset than angry though... initially was invited for my sec sku orientation camp campfire nite as guest... i was rather happy bout it... like since when have they invited mi for something besides the recent seminar? but today heard something that literally pissed mi off on the spot...

well... i was actually helping the games department for their games as their IC came and ask mi for help.. so i just help with no string attached... and i din even expect anything from it.. i wanna help cox i love to help and i like to be involved... but today i was told by one of my friend that some one said this:

"there is this very thick skinned guy who wants to get invited very badly and that person is alan lee..."

that person said it in front of the whole committee... i dint even ask anyone to invite mi la... the games dept pple asked them to invite is most probably because i helped them in their planning and stuff.. but i dint even ask them to do that... and that just pissed mi off straight away on the spot when i heard it... i dint even think of using my helping of the dept to get myself invited to the damn camp fire nite.. i know those people who helped asked the committee to invite me are close to mi but that doesnt mean that i asked them to do that...

It just pissed mi off so badly that i immediately said im not going.... its like if they dun wanna invite then dun invite... dun have to come up with this kinda freaking piece of "soil"( im avoiding profanities).... im totally ok with it if they dun invite.. its like its not the first time and im very used to it alreadi la... im always the one being used.. always the one whos there to help when they need it.. no matter how busy i am.. i will still make time out to help out with no string attached... and i dint even ask for anything in return... sometimes i might just joke around but in actual fact... i dun give a damn to all those accolades la... i just like to help and be involved thats all.... after all these years of working for the sku and slogging like mad for them.. this is wat i gets in return.. its just realli set mi thinking as to wat kinda of moron i have been though... its just make mi disappointed la... i dun hagger over the ting.. its just that if the person wanna say something... say it in front of my face man... i will take it in my stride...

i totally give up on my sec sku leadership alreadi.... im gonna focus more on recent stuff and not on my sec sku leadership stuff anymore... if they need help.. just ask.. i will answer and help them out.. but if not.. i wont give a damn... every time i have been hoping that they might call mi back to help but times and times again.. i just disappoint myself.. wat a moron i am rite? realli wonder why i put myself in that kinda misery in the first place... is passion for the sku leadership wrong? is wanting to help out in camps wrong? i just purely love to help and wanna help thats all... is that wrong as well? maybe u guys reading this will most probably laugh ur head off.. as to how moron can alan be...

Its hard.. but im gonna let it go now... its a new year.. a new start like i say.... so this is not gonna bring mi down... the person who accused mi for watsoever reason... he is forgiven as well... afterall.. he was ignorant as to Why the Games dept pple wanna invite mi for the nite.. so just let it be... ignorant is not a crime ma.. so ya..

alrights.. thats all i have for today....

take care peeps... =)